Self Love

Self-love and self-compassion are required in order to live a joyful life.

Appropriate Self-love is not selfish. Self-love that is malignant is the type of love that exists at the expense of others and is exploiting of others. Those who are uncomfortable with us setting boundaries might accuse us of being selfish, once we start saying, “Hey, knock it off”, and we might wonder if we have a right to be self-loving when someone is suggesting we should not honor our selves and we should instead honor what they want instead.

Imagine the friend who wants you to go out drinking and you just don’t want to. Imagine them berating you and suggesting you’re selfish for not wanting to hang out.

Or imagine the spouse who wants to try a threesome and you’re not into it. Imagine being judged and criticized for not caring about the needs of your spouse who wishes to engage in this type of activity.

In each case, where are you? Where is your reality? Where are your...

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Equanimity vs Reactivity

The brain prefers the familiar, even when the familiar causes us to repeat painful patterns from the past.

The brain prefers the familiar, even when the familiar causes us to feel arrested, stuck, dependent, angry, depressed, critical, sad, lonely, frustrated, and codependent.

The brain prefers the familiar because, by nature, predictable circumstances are far less fear provoking than fears of the unknown, even if those predictable circumstances are painful.

If we people-please when we know others are upset with us, or if we react when others do not behave as we would like them to, both may be patterns from the past our wounded inner child used to cope with emotions that caused us to fear feeling abandoned, rejected, and ultimately NOT good enough.

If we freeze or run away and dissociate from painful emotions, our brain is only trying to help us move away from thoughts that terrify us. In essence, this is a protective mechanism that helps us manage overwhelming emotions we may not...

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CPTSD is a Symptom

CPTSD is a symptom. It is not you--it is your programming that needs to be addressed, and learning to detach from the story that created the traumatic symptoms in the first place, can assist the healing process.

We forget we were powerless as children, and whenever a child's mind, brain, or psyche is overloaded to the degree that they are void of coping skills to handle the stress of any given situation, trauma is taking place. Trauma is trauma and--it is important to recognize that trauma is taking place whenever there is an overload of emotions, events, and ideas taking place that the child is unequipped to process.

Children are NOT equipped to handle emotional overwhelm which is why self-aware parents are so vital in the proper rearing of children. The more aware we are as parents, the more we can appreciate just how crucial our role is in preventing our children from becoming emotionally, cognitively, spiritually, socially, and psychologically overloaded.

While it is true...

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Childhood Programming and Codependency

Scary but true. 

Human beings can go an entire lifetime, unaware that the thoughts that are flowing through our minds are all tied to what information, patterns, beliefs, and programs have been downloaded as a result of childhood experiences. 

Childhood emotional neglect causes great trauma and many of us fail to recognize how being ignored, treated with indifference and sometimes even with contempt, can cause us to become emotionally arrested without us ever realizing this to be true. 

How happy are you today, really?

How individualized do you feel?

Do you feel confident and like you can stand on your own two feet?

How dependent are you upon others, financially, emotionally, or physically?

Do you tend to enmesh with others?

Are you more comfortable when taking care of or rescuing others who seem to 'need' someone to take care of them?

Do you avoid what is really bothering you and instead busy yourself with other things, like other people's issues rather than focusing...

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Thoughts Become Things

We do not always consider how thoughts weave together manifestations in a 3D dense world. We think a thought and then never ponder the circumstances of thinking a thought, and particularly a dense negative thought, but, maybe we should.

There is no such thing as separation, and there are only frequencies separating one reality from another, so it makes sense to spend some time considering how it is thoughts can become things.

Atoms are that magical aspect of all that is that allows for thoughts to become 'things' in a 3D world and to ignore this fact, is sort of like being born with a voice like Celine Dion, but never singing.

While there is no reason to get all bugged out about the idea that our thoughts are weaving together some reality we will experience soon or perhaps even in another lifetime, it is at least wise to take our minds more seriously.

Consider the television programs we watch or the stories we read about in the paper. What the hell are these thoughts weaving...

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Earth Empaths Beware

In the past few weeks, I have been feeling an uneasiness in the center of my chest. At night, I have noticed my heart has been beating a little harder, and I have also noticed an overall sense of tension in my body that is normally not there. Because I have noticed this resistance, I have been focusing on my vibrations by meditating, exercising, and relaxing more.

On the personal front, I have noticed family dynamics shifting like sand below my feet, and although change is always good, regardless of how unsettling, during periods of universal changes like in the form of solar flares and eclipses, holding onto our own vibrational fields is even more of a challenge.

All that is is energy and that includes us.

If you are an Earth Empath, you feel attuned to nature and what is happening on the earth plane. You may be someone who senses sadness or grief before you hear about something devastating in the news. You may be someone who senses the pain of a forest and her trees being...

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Codependency and Friendships

Sometimes it can be difficult to observe your thoughts and especially when triggered and after spending time with those who trigger you.

It can be challenging to regroup and gain emotional control after having had a strenuous conversation, argument, confrontation or some type of interaction that has knocked you off balance.

We live in a sea of others vibrations, others perspectives, others wounds, others triggers, and others agendas. And when we love people, it can difficult to separate our stuff from their stuff.

Codependency creeps up in the most beautiful of spaces.

When we worry more about our sister and her kids than we do ourselves and our own kids...

When we worry more about how to fix the neighbor's love life than we worry about our own marriage and relationships.

When we fail to set a boundary with someone who may not realize they have crossed one...

When we take on other people's issues even though we are drowning in our own.

When we fail to recognize our own codependent...

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