How to Honor Strong Emotions and Rebirth Your Authentic Self on the Healing Journey
Sep 22, 2024
At the start of every day, I spend time alone, looking within from a detached place of consciousness so that I might be able to objectively assess the quality and contents of my mind. The unawakened, untrained mind can become a minefield of faulty, unpoliced, faulty, negative, subconscious programs the ego clings to as the Gospel. This is how it is for all humans, and because my life has been so dark in the past, I choose of my free will to seek the light.
All humans are programmed and indoctrinated through various mediums from before they are born, and it is pretty rare to meet someone totally committed to taking the time to detach, observe, and unravel the subconscious, neurological, mental, psychological, emotional, and spiritual consequences of living life unaware one has lived entirely unaware. So, thank you if you are among those humans partaking in this revolution of consciousness. I can assure you that the conscious life is wrought with minute-by-minute challenges, as ego likes to bark when the higher self says, "Dear One, it's time to let go."
Even if, for example, you recognize how your family's way of being has impacted you, your perceptual lens, and your ego's narrative, taking the time to wonder about the inner consequences is an entirely different matter. And even that is not enough. To heal, one must develop patience, the art of introspection, and become a mental and emotional ninja to break the patterns the ego identifies with IF one wishes to live a purpose-filled, peaceful life of meaning.
I want to share with you how allowing myself the right to acknowledge anger helped me breakthrough some of my faulty subconscious patterns. When I understood that so many of my emotional and psychological problems were tied to denying my emotions for the sake of appearing like I had no needs, which was tied to never feeling good enough to need, which was tied to feeling like an obligation if I dared to express a need for love, kindness or connection with my parents, but specifically my mother, it became a dominant intention of mine to learn how to FEEL every emotion possible.
I understood that denying my inner being the right to simply BE and to EXPRESS without fear was a linchpin and that learning to FEEL from a nurturing place of consciousness, similar to how a well-balanced and conscious mother would have approached my emotions, was key to ascending up and out of the subconscious mind. So, becoming my own divine, safe, loving, nurturing parent was a path I forged so that my inner child could be reborn and eventually mature into the authentic self.
The more I quieted my mind, the more patterns I discovered. I was programmed early to understand that expressing my emotions leads to rejection, harassment, criticism, and thus abandonment. My ego downloaded this equation and it became a blueprint and recipe for codependency, in which losing myself was necessary. Dissociating from my authentic self was tied to less pain, and so obsessing neurotically over what others needed was associated with pleasure.
In that wild, dysfunctional, spirit-abandoning recipe, the authentic Lisa was forced to remain locked within my consciousness and wait until a more mature, emotionally intelligent, spiritually strong warrior was awakened, one who could face down the fear of abandonment and stand up for the authentic self when the fears of the ego wailed from the pits of desperation.
It was sloppy, awkward, and confusing at first. Cultivating the sacred space outside and inside of me felt selfish initially, yet I recognized that this thought was also just my programming. My parents both saw self-love as a form of selfishness and looking within was a bunch of psycho mumbo jumbo. I forged on anyway, sensing that a woman who loved herself was a threat to the highly narcissistic man my father was. My father never told me not to keep seeking and healing. Still, he found ways to insinuate that I was wrong, inappropriate, and selfish for focusing on breaking through the patterns of the past. I also believe that part of his diminishing of my need to heal was in some ways related to his fear that my mother would one day awaken and follow her daughter's lead.
I knew I was on the right track when I found myself less irritated and resistant to the anger of others, especially my children. I discovered that loving and accepting my human emotions and learning not to react to every feeling I had allowed me to be more present while experiencing the emotions of others. I no longer associated pain, rejection, and chaos with emotions that I had so often deemed as negative or had been programmed to believe were negative. It was as if I had been freed of the chains of the past, and somehow, I had transcended an inner egoic narrative that had attempted to have me avoid rejection for so long.
Over time, I learned that my self-actualization journey was a rebirthing of my authentic self while simultaneously healing my inner child and that unearthing the chains of faulty, negative, subconscious programming was necessary for inner peace.
My ego has not been killed, destroyed, or silenced altogether. She is still with me, and she helps me navigate the material world through the offering of emotion. By expanding my consciousness, I can integrate the perceptions of ego from a more balanced, logical, fair, and objective lens while determined to ebb in the direction of love-consciousness, even while hearing her wanting to cry 'foul'.
The goal for us all is to awaken and develop the mental, emotional, and spiritual skills to more objectively recognize the consequences of living an unconscious life and, from that understanding, develop deliberate processes that permit consciousness to expand beyond the limitations of the innocent, programmed ego.
It was never me, and it was never you...it was always our ego and its innocent, subconscious programming.
Anger is just an indicator, and thus contrast, which can be understood as necessary information when perceived accurately through a spiritual lens. Contrast helps you define what you don't want so that you might use your miraculous mind to align with what you do want...and when you take on this quest and choose NOT to complain about what is required for alignment, you, Dear One, transcend all limitations placed upon you despite the validity of their Earthly cause.
We are One...and we are all ENOUGH!
Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach
