We've all had that really horrible relationship--you know the one--the one you know you should leave but you don't--the one you go to bed wishing would just end somehow without you having to be the one to end it.
One of the things we don't often realize is, if we were not raised to VALUE our emotions, opinions, wants or desires AND if we were disrespected, treated with indifference, minimized, gaslighted and abused--as adults--we simply DO NOT HAVE THE DATA for how to stand up for ourselves in an empowering way, not even when, it is BLATANTLY obvious that we should.
And that is not our fault.
Our brain will ALWAYS default to the FAMILIAR rather than choose an UNKNOWN even when the familiar is destroying us UNTIL we
Until the brain can no longer dissociate from the overwhelming grief of a painful relationship--we will be psychologically drawn to stay in a painful situation.
So Dear One, don't blame yourself or go on...
Our ability to ebb and flow, grow and change will determine how far we can take our lives, regardless of how dysfunctional or traumatic our pasts may have been.
Being open-minded enough to check in with your mindset allows you the freedom to DECIDE who and what you want to become.
Today, it is my hope, that you do what you can to check in with your mindset, and especially when it comes to times in your life when you perceived a particular experience as a failure.
There was a time, I saw the ending of a friendship or a relationship as a huge failure until I began to accept that sometimes relationships change because the tone or the frequency of the agreements between people have changed.
I once saw myself as a failure as a mother because my children were the product of a divorce. All that changed when I began to see that through the divorce, I could offer my children so much more than I ever could while married to their father.
When my first book was rejected or ignored by over 100...
Your greatest asset is your imagination. The problem is, due to childhood programming, your imagination is being controlled by what has been stored in the subconscious mind.
All day long, the most powerful engine on earth is running automatically, and sadly, simply replaying whatever crap has been stored in the subconscious mind.
All night long, as human beings lay asleep, their imagination continues to feed off of that which has been downloaded into the subconscious mind.
Every relationship mirrors what we have been programmed to believe about the self.
Every task we take on is tainted by what we have been brainwashed to believe about our capabilities or lack of.
Every word we speak is filtered first by what perception we hold of the self.
Every word spoken to us is first filtered through the ears of the wounded and invisible inner child.
Abused adult children are--wounded children in adult bodies.
We are spiritually stuck somewhere in the past, although our bodies age according...
It is Independence Day here in the United States but it can be a day of FREEDOM wherever you live.
If we want to be free, we have to first FOCUS on the thought of experiencing freedom. From there we must BELIEVE it is possible for us to be free. Without the focus and the belief, we cannot experience MANIFESTATION.
Every person who has healed themselves of depression, anxiety, codependency or cancer, first focused and then believed that what they desired was possible.
Before any of us can be free from a dysfunctional relationship, we must first believe this possibility exists.
What is keeping us stuck is not outside of ourselves.
What keeps us stuck is inside our own heads.
We are attached to ideas, beliefs, notions, concepts, and programs that do not serve our higher good, and in turn, this faulty programming has us feeling and believing we are stuck. When we are NOT thinking, we are recreating our past in the NOW which is weaving...
People come in all shapes and sizes.
IMHO, you shall know a person by the words/fruit they speak, no different than identifying a banana tree from an apple tree. You know what tree you are looking at by the fruits that tree bears, and so it is with people and the words that drip from their lips.
What drips from the lips is the tip of the iceberg. Every word is constructed first through beliefs, perceptions, and intentions. When you look at a banana tree, you know that DEEP within the roots of mother earth, there is DNA for a banana tree. And when you grab for the banana, you know that what you are eating is much more the result of non-physical magic than it is physical matter at all. Unlike people, you invite into your energy field, you can safely presume that when you peel back that yellow skin, inside you will find a potassium-rich yummy banana.
As we heal from codependency, we gain the ability to tune more finely into our internal guidance. We confront our love addiction and need...
When you have been raised to not feel good enough, it is impossible to live a fulfilled and abundant life. When the perceptions you have of self are corrupt, the psyche is unable to imagine anything less. Healing requires a force equal to or stronger than the old programming that is keeping you stuck in order to SHIFT how you see self.
We live in a materialistic world, but we do not have to participate in the illusions of materialism and separation. Through the intentional journey towards unity consciousness, we can heal all false ideas of separation within the self as well as with the world.
You are enough Dear One--you are enough!
Ending the cycles of codependency must end with us. We must do all we can to heal our wounded hearts enough so that we no longer think we need the validation of others to help make us feel whole.
Codependents generally stay in relationships long after they should have left them behind. Because we have not been taught to believe we are enough, we fear abandonment and often cling when instead we should be letting go.
Another reason we stay in unfulfilling and abusive relationships is because we do not know how to honor our feelings. We don't know how to stop and ask ourselves how we feel. Instead, we focus on others, cater to their needs, and fail to honor what is happening inside of us.
If we are going to break the cycle of codependency, we must first heal ourselves. When we heal ourselves, then and only then can we help our children understand the value of honoring the SELF.
From time to time, I receive an email suggesting that my social media posts, books, videos, and alike, make it difficult for adult children to forgive their parents. Of course, these emails are coming from parents, and I get that--totally. I am, by the way, a mom who made tons of mistakes with her own children. I know the kick to the stomach reality is when you become aware of the fact that in your own state of unconsciousness, you have said and have done things that have hurt your own children.
Folks, there is NO healing without HUMILITY.
It is what it is.
If we were to plant an apple seed into soil lacking vitamins, minerals, and proper irrigation, and if that apple seed only grew past the soil to stand about three feet tall as an apple tree, no one would fault the seed. Well, no logical person would fault the seed that is. A narcissist would fault the seed if the narcissist were the...
What a devastating week.
Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade have left our physical plane and many of us are feeling the sorrowful shockwaves.
When celebrities take their own lives, many of us are left in shock. We hear ourselves thinking, "Kate Spade? Anthony Bourdain? How could this be? They looked so happy. They were living the life. They were rich and famous! They were living the dream."
Perhaps, this is part of the problem.
As someone who has suffered from thoughts of suicide myself, I understand the deep, insurmountable grief, powerlessness, and desperation that comes when in your darkest times, you think and feel, "I just cannot take this pain any longer."
If we were having a heart attack, ambulances would come, doctors would be alerted, and if we were lucky, we would survive. Perhaps we would need surgery and some dietary changes, but, the healing process would be tangible. We would have skilled surgeons we could rely on and nutritionist who could teach us to eat this and avoid...