The brain prefers the familiar, even when the familiar causes us to repeat painful patterns from the past.
The brain prefers the familiar, even when the familiar causes us to feel arrested, stuck, dependent, angry, depressed, critical, sad, lonely, frustrated, and codependent.
The brain prefers the familiar because, by nature, predictable circumstances are far less fear provoking than fears of the unknown, even if those predictable circumstances are painful.
If we people-please when we know others are upset with us, or if we react when others do not behave as we would like them to, both may be patterns from the past our wounded inner child used to cope with emotions that caused us to fear feeling abandoned, rejected, and ultimately NOT good enough.
If we freeze or run away and dissociate from painful emotions, our brain is only trying to help us move away from thoughts that terrify us. In essence, this is a protective mechanism that helps us manage overwhelming emotions we may not...