If people looked more like animals, it would be easy to know who to avoid.
If manipulative, abusive, narcissistic people looked like lions, tigers or bears, most of us would avoid them. But, abusive people look like regular people and many narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are wonderfully charming when we first meet them.
Many of the most damaging people out there are the ones who don’t look like evil people. Many are wolves in sheep's clothing whose energy feels more like carbon monoxide than clean air. The abuse they cause is invisible and debilitating. We don't know we are dealing with lions or wolves because we cannot see them clawing at our hearts or gnawing at our skin. The ick we feel is internal and sadly, manipulative people are so good at convincing you that YOU are the problem, it can take a lifetime to understand the ick is really not you--and it is a symptom of living with someone who sees others as toys they use to entertain their egos,...
People come in all shapes and sizes.
IMHO, you shall know a person by the words/fruit they speak, no different than identifying a banana tree from an apple tree. You know what tree you are looking at by the fruits that tree bears, and so it is with people and the words that drip from their lips.
What drips from the lips is the tip of the iceberg. Every word is constructed first through beliefs, perceptions, and intentions. When you look at a banana tree, you know that DEEP within the roots of mother earth, there is DNA for a banana tree. And when you grab for the banana, you know that what you are eating is much more the result of non-physical magic than it is physical matter at all. Unlike people, you invite into your energy field, you can safely presume that when you peel back that yellow skin, inside you will find a potassium-rich yummy banana.
As we heal from codependency, we gain the ability to tune more finely into our internal guidance. We confront our love addiction and need...
According to Addiction Treatment Magazine's Article:
Alcoholism is a scourge that affects all members of the family, not just the alcoholic. The damage is pernicious and inescapable, and has long-term negative consequences for all concerned. An estimated 27.8 million children in the United States are affected by or exposed to a family alcohol problem – and preliminary research suggests that more than 11 million of them are under the age of 18. These numbers do not include children who are affected by or exposed to other drug problems. What happens to these children as they grow up? Are they doomed to repeat the pattern of alcohol abuse they see in their alcoholic parent? Or are they fighting to be free?
Incest and battering are common in alcoholic families. An estimated 30 percent of father-daughter incest cases and 75 percent of domestic violence cases involve a family member who is an alcoholic. COAs are more likely to become targets of family abuse...
On Mother's Day of this year, my mother suffered another stroke. The hematoma on her brain has caused her to also begin experiencing seizures. Along with each seizure her heart has stopped each time. All of this is on top of her dementia diagnosis.
My mother is the classic codependent. Born to two raging alcoholics, my mother and her two brothers were never raised. Instead, they were born, shuttered from one apartment to another, and essentially existed on the outskirts of the lives of their two alcoholic parents. At nineteen, she met and fell in love with, another adult child of a raging alcoholic, my dad. Like moths to a flame, these two wounded souls found one another, felt an instant connection, married, and began to raise a family.
Growing up I never felt like I could connect with my mom. As a child I would liken this inability to connect to having a pane of clear glass that existed between us. I couldn't see it, or touch it, but I could sense it. I was sure she...