Ego is that aspect of our personality that has been designed to negotiate the innate needs and impulses of the inner child with the outside world. We may have times where we want to scream or curse someone out, but our ego may realize this is not socially acceptable or ethically responsible.
The ego will work to protect the inner child from further injury. Some of us have been conditioned to tone ourselves down to avoid additional pain, while others have learned to lash out at others as a way to teach others to back off so to avoid further emotional pain.
Neither is healthy.
What is important to acknowledge is that enlightenment requires a letting go and the release of the need to shut down or lash out. When faced with the choice to let go, ego will feel threatened and to the unaware mind, this threat will cause a crisis.
The enlightened mind will look within and change in self what needs to be changed for the purpose of peace on the outside as well as on the inside. A young...
When a being decides they need to make adjustments in their life, they often do not realize that the adjustments they are seeking will require change. Many beings struggle with the idea of change--yet there is nothing that is--that is not in a constant state of flux.
When you are involved in a dysfunctional dynamic--growth--independence--accountability and self reliance are unwelcome notions. Dysfunctional dynamics generally follow certain invisible guidelines. Relationships that are unhealthy are dishonest. They are about power and control--which includes power and control over how others feel.
A client of mine was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. After talking in length about his family of origin, he revealed that while growing up--his father was totalitarian--and his mother was enabling. His father beat him routinely and made it crushingly obvious that he was disappointed with my client, as he did not wish to go into the family business. At family dinners my clients...
When you are raised by parents who cannot see you--you are in essence being mirrored a sense of not enough-ness. You are vibrationally/emotionally being programmed to believe that YOU--the little divine--magnificent YOU--is NOT enough to gain mommy or daddy's praise, acceptance, validation, pride, joy, or love.
When you are raised by parents who are so self absorbed--whether they are absorbed by care taking for people who should be able to take care of themselves, or by shopping, or by alcohol, or by gossip, or by their physical appearance, or by worrying about what everyone else thinks about them--YOU as the child of these types of emotional vampires--do not feel seen.
When our parents deny us the love, acceptance, validation, compassion, forgiveness, guidance, worthiness and unconditionality we deserve--a hole in our hearts appears. This hole is felt on an emotional/vibrational level, and forever we the invisible children--seek to fill it.
The problem is--until we learn that that...
There is nothing that upsets me or excites me more than an adult child of an alcoholic, or an adult child of a dysfunctional home who is on the cusp of being able to comprehend that he/she is NOT her thoughts.
When you are born to parents who cannot SEE you, who cannot HEAR you, who are unaware at how self absorbed they are--in relation to you--YOU never learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Because it is the absolute responsibility of the parent to instill within a child a sense of unconditional love and acceptance--children are not born knowing how to love self. In fact, children learn about their worth or lack of through their relationships with parents. If the parents are dysfunctional, then so will be the messages the child receives about self, others, the world, relationships and love.
As a Life Coach I have had to learn how to detach from the emotions that well up within me whenever a client opens up their heart and bestows me the honor of stepping inside their temple of...
Dear Adult Child of an Alcoholic,
Come sit beside me and rest your weary heart.
Gather all of your brothers and sisters who have had their tender hearts beaten by the earth beings who were intended to support your growth spiritually, intellectually and physically.
Open your hearts dear one and heed the vibrations of these words. Allow, allow, allow them to penetrate through the deep layers of scars that have left you feeling separate and alien even unto your own Self.
I know, I know, I know how hard your life has been.
I know, I know, I know how often you have tried to please them.
I know, I know, I know how good you are inside. I see it, I feel it--you dear one are a tired soul.
You could have never known that the people who were supposed to nurture you--were ill themselves--and detached from their own divine magnificence.
It is not your fault that the beings who were supposed to adore you, shelter you, protect you, and feed your soul were beings who were starved...
So you grew up in a home with parents who could not or would not 'see' you. Your home could have been one filled with alcoholism, or it could have been a dry home that looked perfect from the outside. Whether you grew up with chaos or you grew up feeling like your home was still and sterile, if who you were as a soul was never validated you probably carry a lot of shame.
Children who were treated like their souls-or their emotions were invisible inevitably receive the message that who they are on an internal level is unworthy. These feelings of unworthiness cause deep shame.
What Can You Do Now?
One of the best things you can do now, is literally surrender to what has been, and then embrace the power of NOW. In this moment you can allow yourself to 'see' yourself. You can finally allow those unexperienced experiences to be expressed.
How Can I Allow These Unexperienced Experiences To Be Expressed?
In order to heal what has been, one must allow the emotions of the past to come...
If you were unable to attend our live workshop call on Codependency and Boundary building, you can download this Mp3 now.
Codependency is rooted in a lack of self. When you are raised by people who fail to validate you psychologically, you are programmed to be detached from the self. Because you are stuck seeking your parents validation, and because you never received it, your adult life tends to become one of enmeshment. It seems you are on a never ending journey in search of acceptance, belonging and validation.
I created this workshop to help people learn 'how to' take back their personal power, so that they could begin defining their own boundary lines. Without a solid understanding of the self, it is impossible to be authentic in relationships and to protect oneself from emotional vampires. Because this is an attraction based universe, and because like attract likes, when you are a codependent who lacks a self--you can only attract a being who is incapable of seeing you as...
This coming Thursday, May 25th, 2017 at 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time, I will be hosting a live free webinar.
I will be introducing The 12-Week Breakthrough Coaching Program and answering your questions live.
This webinar should last approximately one-hour, but because I can be long-winded, (ha--no kidding) I cannot promise that I will not go over the hour.
You must register to attend.
I cannot promise that I will answer all the questions posed but I promise to do my best.