Namaste Dear Ones!
Nobody ever tells us this, but they should. On the path to emotional sobriety, we will be faced with ALL OF OUR FEARS! Our ego will be challenged and every one of our wounds will be activated. We will be confronted with choices we once prayed we'd never have to make.
Will we choose them, or will we choose ourselves?
Will we stay quiet, or will be rock the boat?
Will we stay, or will we walk away?
Will we react and lash out, or will we surrender and accept what we cannot change?
Will we people-please, fawn and dissociate, or will we walk through the fear of making changes that will require us to face our fear of being alone?
Lions and frikin' tigers and bears--OH MY!
The road to recovery and healing from codependency is a path to enlightenment.
When we suffer from the fear of abandonment, we do not realize we are living below the veil of consciousness as ego clings tightly to conditioned behaviors it was powerless to control while...
Anything that we experience within the mental and or emotional body must manifest in the physical body. We can never separate our emotional or mental experience from our physical bodies--as all beings are the sum of that which is experienced on every level of existence.
Codependent relationships are maddening--as it is a dynamic that sucks emotional and mental bodies in like vacuums.
One minute a codependent being can be laughing and enjoying the sound of a child's laughter, and the next--he/she can notice an unease in their partner's facial expression and suddenly feel sucked into a dark hole mentally and emotionally.
One glance--one glare--one frown--one shrug of a shoulder--one movement--one word--one sentence--is all it takes for a codependent being to fill with dread.
When you are codependent--you--and your stability is not the priority.
Like a prisoner sentenced to live life according to the rules set by others--codependents play by the rules of others--and lose themselves bit...
Codependents are those of us who have grown up detached and dissociated from the divine self, who have learned to ignore our inner child, and who have been conditioned to behave in ways that allow us to exist without really existing.
We are people who have felt emotionally ignored, despised, devalued, neglected, and disregarded, who today, are learning that fawning, rescuing, lying, and denying our true desires leads to depression, anxiety, resentment, chronic illnesses, inflammation, divorce, cheating, and toxic relationships.
The older we get we begin understanding that praying others will read our minds so we don't have to dare risk telling our truth, only wastes our precious Creator Given-Limited time on this miraculous planet called Earth.
Healing from this EPIDEMIC called CODEPENDENCY begins with telling our truth at least to ourselves. Confessing our truth to ourselves can be scary because we have been conditioned to gain the validation and attachment to others at all costs....
Any adult child of an alcoholic or any adult child of an emotionally manipulative parent would tell you that the slightest conversation about the most mundane thing is enough to cause a total breakdown in communication with one of or both of their dysfunctional parents.
Whether it is a conversation about the weather, or about a news story on television, when trying to communicate with an alcoholic--or emotional manipulator--even the most simple conversation topics are enough to start what feels like a cold war.
Because non-alcoholics and non-emotionally manipulative people tend to communicate clearly--it is easy to become frustrated when attempting to converse with someone whose intent is 'not' to communicate clearly.
Anyone who has had the unpleasant experience of needing to speak to an alcoholic about a specific topic, with the intent to get to the bottom of some dynamic--will tell you that it is like trying to communicate with someone who speaks a different language. What boggles...
Over the years the term codependency has taken on many meanings. Originally the term was coined to describe the partners and family members of alcoholics. Counselors noted that family members of the self absorbed alcoholics presented with similar symptoms. Spouses generally catered to the needs of the alcoholic, while ignoring needs of their own. As time has passed the term 'codependency' has truly evolved. We now understand this term in much greater detail, and with these new understandings come much awaited emotional relief.
When I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown, it was complete terror that drove me to a therapists office. I was stunned yet relieved when he said, "Well, you're not crazy, but you are codependent." My mind swirled with, "Wait what? I am not married to an alcoholic. How can this diagnosis fit?"
With absolutely nowhere else to turn, I delve into learning all I could about the term 'codependency'. What I learned altered the course...
So you grew up in a home with parents who could not or would not 'see' you. Your home could have been one filled with alcoholism, or it could have been a dry home that looked perfect from the outside. Whether you grew up with chaos or you grew up feeling like your home was still and sterile, if who you were as a soul was never validated you probably carry a lot of shame.
Children who were treated like their souls-or their emotions were invisible inevitably receive the message that who they are on an internal level is unworthy. These feelings of unworthiness cause deep shame.
What Can You Do Now?
One of the best things you can do now, is literally surrender to what has been, and then embrace the power of NOW. In this moment you can allow yourself to 'see' yourself. You can finally allow those unexperienced experiences to be expressed.
How Can I Allow These Unexperienced Experiences To Be Expressed?
In order to heal what has been, one must allow the emotions of the past to come...
If you were unable to attend our live workshop call on Codependency and Boundary building, you can download this Mp3 now.
Codependency is rooted in a lack of self. When you are raised by people who fail to validate you psychologically, you are programmed to be detached from the self. Because you are stuck seeking your parents validation, and because you never received it, your adult life tends to become one of enmeshment. It seems you are on a never ending journey in search of acceptance, belonging and validation.
I created this workshop to help people learn 'how to' take back their personal power, so that they could begin defining their own boundary lines. Without a solid understanding of the self, it is impossible to be authentic in relationships and to protect oneself from emotional vampires. Because this is an attraction based universe, and because like attract likes, when you are a codependent who lacks a self--you can only attract a being who is incapable of seeing you as...