Codependents are those of us who have grown up detached and dissociated from the divine self, who have learned to ignore our inner child, and who have been conditioned to behave in ways that allow us to exist without really existing.
We are people who have felt emotionally ignored, despised, devalued, neglected, and disregarded, who today, are learning that fawning, rescuing, lying, and denying our true desires leads to depression, anxiety, resentment, chronic illnesses, inflammation, divorce, cheating, and toxic relationships.
The older we get we begin understanding that praying others will read our minds so we don't have to dare risk telling our truth, only wastes our precious Creator Given-Limited time on this miraculous planet called Earth.
Healing from this EPIDEMIC called CODEPENDENCY begins with telling our truth at least to ourselves. Confessing our truth to ourselves can be scary because we have been conditioned to gain the validation and attachment to others at all costs....
Any adult child of an alcoholic or any adult child of an emotionally manipulative parent would tell you that the slightest conversation about the most mundane thing is enough to cause a total breakdown in communication with one of or both of their dysfunctional parents.
Whether it is a conversation about the weather, or about a news story on television, when trying to communicate with an alcoholic--or emotional manipulator--even the most simple conversation topics are enough to start what feels like a cold war.
Because non-alcoholics and non-emotionally manipulative people tend to communicate clearly--it is easy to become frustrated when attempting to converse with someone whose intent is 'not' to communicate clearly.
Anyone who has had the unpleasant experience of needing to speak to an alcoholic about a specific topic, with the intent to get to the bottom of some dynamic--will tell you that it is like trying to communicate with someone who speaks a different language. What boggles...
Over the years the term codependency has taken on many meanings. Originally the term was coined to describe the partners and family members of alcoholics. Counselors noted that family members of the self absorbed alcoholics presented with similar symptoms. Spouses generally catered to the needs of the alcoholic, while ignoring needs of their own. As time has passed the term 'codependency' has truly evolved. We now understand this term in much greater detail, and with these new understandings come much awaited emotional relief.
When I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown, it was complete terror that drove me to a therapists office. I was stunned yet relieved when he said, "Well, you're not crazy, but you are codependent." My mind swirled with, "Wait what? I am not married to an alcoholic. How can this diagnosis fit?"
With absolutely nowhere else to turn, I delve into learning all I could about the term 'codependency'. What I learned altered the course...
So you grew up in a home with parents who could not or would not 'see' you. Your home could have been one filled with alcoholism, or it could have been a dry home that looked perfect from the outside. Whether you grew up with chaos or you grew up feeling like your home was still and sterile, if who you were as a soul was never validated you probably carry a lot of shame.
Children who were treated like their souls-or their emotions were invisible inevitably receive the message that who they are on an internal level is unworthy. These feelings of unworthiness cause deep shame.
What Can You Do Now?
One of the best things you can do now, is literally surrender to what has been, and then embrace the power of NOW. In this moment you can allow yourself to 'see' yourself. You can finally allow those unexperienced experiences to be expressed.
How Can I Allow These Unexperienced Experiences To Be Expressed?
In order to heal what has been, one must allow the emotions of the past to come...
If you were unable to attend our live workshop call on Codependency and Boundary building, you can download this Mp3 now.
Codependency is rooted in a lack of self. When you are raised by people who fail to validate you psychologically, you are programmed to be detached from the self. Because you are stuck seeking your parents validation, and because you never received it, your adult life tends to become one of enmeshment. It seems you are on a never ending journey in search of acceptance, belonging and validation.
I created this workshop to help people learn 'how to' take back their personal power, so that they could begin defining their own boundary lines. Without a solid understanding of the self, it is impossible to be authentic in relationships and to protect oneself from emotional vampires. Because this is an attraction based universe, and because like attract likes, when you are a codependent who lacks a self--you can only attract a being who is incapable of seeing you as...
There are so many secrets for man to discover on his sacred journey through life. Perhaps the most illusive however, is the secret that is living right behind his eyes.
Man has been kept in the dark for generations, and perhaps even since the beginning of time. Although there are those who are awakened, and have transcended the dark energies within their emotional bodies, many are still blind to the greatness within. Man has coded within his DNA all the potential needed to create abundance, health, love, joy and well being, and yet only 1% of the world's population seems to know how to invoke this potential to its max.
Most beings are ladened with guilt, shame, sorrow, lack, and poor health. Many beings believe they need and deserve their states and governments to provide for them, which also means they do not believe they can or should provide for themselves. A mind that believes in entitlement may be unaware that in believing in entitlement he gives up his power to live the...
Ross Rosenberg & Lisa A. Romano Webinar
TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME!
Banishing Fear: Finding the Courage to Heal Codependency
JUST IN TIME FOR VALENTINES DAY
February 13, 12 – 3pm EST
Please register for this webinar at;
Banishing fear and finding courage to heal or recover from codependency, or what Ross now refers to as Self-Love Deficit Disorder is the perfect seminar from those who want to heal and grow into more complete self-loving, self-caring and self-respecting individuals. Ross Rosenberg and Lisa Romano, two internationally renowned experts in the respective fields, will jointly participate in a life-changing seminar that focuses on the codependency/Self-Love Deficit Disorder and trauma recovery. During this three-hour webinar Ross and Lisa will give individual presentations while interacting with each other during them....
On Mother's Day of this year, my mother suffered another stroke. The hematoma on her brain has caused her to also begin experiencing seizures. Along with each seizure her heart has stopped each time. All of this is on top of her dementia diagnosis.
My mother is the classic codependent. Born to two raging alcoholics, my mother and her two brothers were never raised. Instead, they were born, shuttered from one apartment to another, and essentially existed on the outskirts of the lives of their two alcoholic parents. At nineteen, she met and fell in love with, another adult child of a raging alcoholic, my dad. Like moths to a flame, these two wounded souls found one another, felt an instant connection, married, and began to raise a family.
Growing up I never felt like I could connect with my mom. As a child I would liken this inability to connect to having a pane of clear glass that existed between us. I couldn't see it, or touch it, but I could sense it. I was sure she...